is this for real?

troubled waters

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Although restrictions may be placed upon you now, there is more going on than meets the eye. A difficult situation can suddenly transform into a very positive experience, but this will only happen if you are able to relinquish your control. Instead of worrying about the outcome, put your attention on the present moment. Paradoxically, things will improve when you move beyond judging what's happening as good or bad.


ok...so does everyone else's horoscope hit them head on to the moment?
this is my situation in a nutshell.....

Loss

So I lost my main computer during a storm last night.

My heart is heavy from the loss.

All my files that were on the desktop that I hadn't put into storage.
All the works in progress and the photos of my new work.
The digital photo's that I downloaded into folders with the intent to arrange and store for later references.

I feel as if my house has burned down and that nothing of my life is retrievable
I also feel that this is silly.....there are people out there that really have lost so much more than a computer main frame.

Then that very thought makes me feel more loss.
I am now left with the laptop.
There is no security for me in something that is portable.
That in itself means it has no permanence.

Creative Intelligence?

Esoterica: Creative intelligence also involves the simultaneous use of mind and spirit. Whether mind before spirit or spirit before mind, retrofitting and deconstructing spirit is the habit of our age. Perhaps the evolved CI guy is best at thinking it out first, then making the leap of faith, then covering tracks. "I throw a spear into the darkness. That is intuition. Then I must send an army into the darkness to find the spear. That is intellect."

This is a quote from the latest Robert Genn newsletter.

I realize there are two main kinds of artists. Those who think it's all
about technique, methodology and process, and those who think
all you have to do is "wing it." The latter, sort of like
skydivers without benefit of parachutes, are all over the place
these days. Attitudes of "anything goes," "anybody can do it,"
and "I can do what I want as long as it has 'heart'" prevail.
While I'm a first-line advocate for intuition, just to make
things difficult I have to tell you there's something else we
need to think about. It's called "Creative Intelligence."

CI do I have it?
From his discription of what it means and how it affects an artist I actually believe I do.

I jump off regularly and let fly but always with my parachute, because I expect to land if nothing else. I think it through, work it out, prepare, then jump.
This process Robert Genn titled CI I thought every artist possessed. I didn't think of myself as being any different from any other struggling artist.
Lately, I have been flying non stop, starting and stopping to reflect only when my parachute seemed to get tangled.
The entanglement, at least in my case; are the moments when the peer approval, admiration or whatever you personally wish to call it, gets bogged down. The group I like to attend and where I find my own awareness doesn't liked to be pushed out of the plane to jump. I seem to be a pusher. I wish to have everyone fly. I guess it is time to back off, reflect on my own self and let everyone else fly at their own pace. So in some cases the CI individual needs his/her own awareness to keep on flying, especially when the peers are not around to pack their parachute.

Deadlines

Sometimes you have to wonder what is going on... especially when everything goes wrong and as hard as you try....you miss a deadline.

Rules are rules and no exceptions are made, I understand this and know that if you don't make the deadline there is no one to fault except yourself.

I seem to feel the need to push the envelope and make deadlines at the 9th hour but sometimes, there are other circumstances that need to be figured in.

I could post my work with the others, several asked me too. I thought that there was some understanding that I might need an extra day because of travel time and the forced use of a library computer....LOL... but it just didn't happen, the understanding it seems LOL.

It's ok, but since there was an insistance on everyone not showing their work until the actual posting and I missed the posting date, I can only assume there is a rule that prohibits one from posting after the fact.

Again it's ok....it just means I can't post with the group, it doesn't mean I can't post the work.
So I did.

It was a bit of a stretch for me because it has been a very long time since I have done landscapes. But I was bored on this last trip and thought why not give it a try and see what you can do. I started the painting on Thursday evening. I didn't have much time to work on it since I really was suppose to be visiting family, but what the hey, if they were reading a book or watching the news, then I felt I had time to paint.....anyway, to make this short story long I finished it on Saturday but no computer to post....and all the places I had dashed off too for connections were closed on Sunday and then Monday I was traveling back home...10 hours straight driving in the rain, up hill both ways, with a headwind that pushed me back 1 mile for every 2 I was driving.......LOL...well, it felt like it.

So once I got home I made a mad dash up the stairs to my home computer....checking to see if there was time had they posted all ready, they had posted on Sunday I think.....so; oh well....that's the breaks.

I am thankful that I had an idea to paint.
It really doesn't matter if it made it into the posting, I painted and that should be enough.

I rushed this to make the deadline...lol...so will probably work the clouds a little more to make it gel.

at a crossroad

I don't know for sure if every artists comes to a place in the road where they stop look and wonder.
Which way do I travel now?

I recently got to that place myself.
I find what I am doing is not what I want to do.
I liked the work while I was creating it but once over and complete, I wondered why I am doing that.

So I am at a crossroads and I wonder which road to select and what direction I will go next.

Part of creating is the journey, so I hope this one is as interesting as the others.

I think I will go left this time.