Dishing it out can you take it?

When is it the time to tell it like it is and when do you keep it inside you and your mouth shut?

Critiques of artist's work giving or taking is such a fine line to walk.
Sometimes it is damn if you do and damned if you don't.
I have heard it all when people view my work, and a lot of it has not been to it's praise.
To keep from flipping out over any negativity, I try to take the artists work into account, weigh their remarks to me, then base my opinion of their remarks to what I think of their work. If their work is not something I admire or think challenging then I do not feel challenged.

I also think that sometimes depending on your relationship with another artist and what that relationship means, should also be taken into consideration to their comments. After all if they don't like you as a person...what could they possibly like in your work and vice versa, can they really be honest if they are thinking more on the relationship then on the work.
So dishing it out and taking it depends I guess, or at least for me, in how it was given and what can I learn from it.

Now to dishing it out.
There is a saying around here...
Don't ask Pam unless you are prepared to hear it all.
No, I am not always critical, but I don't mince words when there is something I think I see that doesn't work in a painting.
Nor do I mince words when I find something to praise.
When it is good I am one of the first to speak up and clap you on the back.
I try to give support and encouragement.
I think that a good fair critique of the work can be balanced, and the artist is opened to the thoughts of another; they can possibly find a new way to look at their work.

Because of my background a lot of people come to me and they know I really will be honest.
I know they don't like sweet remarks like..
NICE WORK,
GREAT START,
OOOOOHHHH!!!!!
and that is all that is said.
No grounds or support to what they say, just being non committal is what I call it.
But the artist who asked for a critique or what you think is usually looking or searching for something more the platitudes.

But, should it be told to them, if you think the remarks will make them feel badly about their work?
or should it be told when after all it is only your opinion?
or should you just give them what they expect, easy praise;
because you value their friendship and being honest could jeopardize the relationship?
Haven't resolved this as yet.
But the other thing I know about me is I don't know when to shut up.

Focus

It takes as much stress to be a success as it does to be a failure.
--Emilio James Trujillo


Focus..what is it?

I talk frequently about my need to focus.
Maybe it would help me to understand exactly what I mean when I say this.

Focus to look closely at.
Maybe.

Focus to keep a narrow view and avoid distractions
Closer

Focus to see the steps needed to get where I am going.
OK that's it.


I need to focus and quit looking around trying to see, say, and do too much.
I need to look at the steps I need to get where I am going.

LOL..just image if you were blind folded and trying to navigate steps or a building you have never been in before. You would go cautiously and tentatively making sure you don't hurt yourself as you navigate the unknown.

So why...when I am sighted....would I not take the same precautions and go cautiously and tentatively in unknown territory. Why would I want to run head long into a wall, or off the top step. Why don't I make plans and follow paths that have been made before. Maybe because it may seem to me to be too boring, or possibly I have this need to fly by the seat of my pants. I really don't have that answer and I do seem to do it regularly....so that is why I am always saying.

I need to focus.
Maybe it would be easier to say.
I need to slow down.

Too funny.

What is enough?

Undoubtedly, the catalyst behind many successes in the world is a need to prove something because one feels inadequate, but the best path, the path that satisfies the soul, is one of completeness at every step of the way. Taking this path makes living a joy, because it doesn't postpone that feeling of being enough. Being enough is not something we achieve. It's something we are. -David J Walker

Looking over my words and after reading the above quote, I realized that yes my path in this world has been lead by my own inadequate feelings. My personal impressions that I often was made to feel less then good enough.
Less than a painter and more of a hobbyist.
Less of a wife and more of a caretaker.
Less of a mother and more of a disciplinarian.
I never found along my path the joy of being.

Being satisfied.
Being enough.

I recognize that my focus is more on negativity and many friends have the courage to even suggest I focus on paranoia. I, myself, don't think it is that bad; but occasionally I notice my choices are closer to downers and my ability to listen or only hear negatives is rather unamusing.

So if I read the above quote again...I ask what is enough and how do you achieve it.

In painting it is easy. You come to a place where the canvas will not take any more paint. Your brain takes over and looks and says enough. You get tired of trying to improve or redo so you simply say enough. Again this connotation of enough seems to be negative. When or where is it that enough is just that enough?

Enough in who we are at the moment.
Enough as in satisfaction of things the way they are.
Enough just simply to be happy.

Most of us probably don't listen to the inner voice that says, "You're enough because you exist." We ignore it because being enough doesn't fit the image we have of ourselves. We have spent so much time thinking of ourselves as not being enough that enough-ness seems very far away.

So, to correct my own being and feelings, I probably need to correct my own faulty self-image. I think mainly because the natural tendency of my mind is to surround itself with whatever it has embodied. so if I embody fear and doubt, I will surround myself, to one degree or another, with people and circumstances that reflect fear and doubt. If, however, I embody belief and trust in myself, I will surround myself with people and circumstances that reflect belief and trust.

I have talked about moving on, moving away from people who thought little of me, but who I thought were so willing to use me. Now, I realize these very people where only the reflection of my own negativity and at least they recognized I could get things done, though I wasn't aware of that myself. I now realize that it was my own embodiment of inadequacies that made me want to be a people pleaser without pleasing myself. These people weren't making me feel inadequate--- I was doing it to myself.

I continue to reflect back on the many times I was not able to accept my own completeness, and I notice that after each step of achievement I did not spend the time looking positively at what I had done; but I hurriedly moved on to the next task, the next duty, the next job, the next moment of trying to be adequate, and I realize after each time when it should have been enough I actually was becoming more and more empty.

I do not want to travel this world any longer missing out the things that were good.
The things that should have made me happy.
The things that should have impressed even me in all my negativity.
I want to find that state of being, that existence of being enough.

I hope that I am learning.
That I am getting closer to what I seek.
Awareness is the key to change and
I think I am beginning to realize what enough is.

I exist therefore I am.
Yeah.........that is enough

To sell or not to sell.....that is the question

I sold a very large painting this past month....what a thrill.
I even met the purchaser it was nice. It was a very large abstracted landscape titled Peaceful Garden.

They bought this painting on the insistence of their interior decorator.
Well, it sold...even if it was because it helped mask the large brick wall.
Laughing as I go to the bank.
I have been told a lot of things about why my work sells...
I think the best one was "because it was yellow".

I sold another one this weekend. Well, rather the gallery sold it.
I am an Innocent by stander to the whole marketing process.
I just paint..take it in...let them hang...and then I wait.
I have my own gallery where I am more involved but I hate being on the analytical side of my brain...much prefer the creative side.

Anyway, the first painting that sold was one that was left over from the A2H show...it was nice to see this one go. I hated the idea of maybe having to take it down and find a place to store it. It was 6 ft by 8 ft....so selling it made things a little easier.

The second one that sold was the first to sell from the coffee series that I painted for a solo show back in Dec 2006. I love that series but worried since nothing had sold even from the show. I sold abstracts and clay art at that show..but none of the coffee series.

I wanted to tell a friend about it....because he said it was some of my best work. I had almost given up and thought about painting over them, but I always need to be patient. I appreciate his telling me to keep working, sometimes a friend can see things you can not.

Anyway...to sell or not to sell, that is the question.
Do we as artist paint to sell?
I paint for shows. The ultimate reason for having shows is the expectation to sell, so does that mean I am painting to sell?

Lament

Lament

I sit and wonder about the things that happen around me.
I don't always understand.
I cry
I feel badly.
Possibly because I am too sensitive
But maybe it is just time to move on.

I just don't belong there...and it can't be any more obvious then it is right now.