What is enough?

Undoubtedly, the catalyst behind many successes in the world is a need to prove something because one feels inadequate, but the best path, the path that satisfies the soul, is one of completeness at every step of the way. Taking this path makes living a joy, because it doesn't postpone that feeling of being enough. Being enough is not something we achieve. It's something we are. -David J Walker

Looking over my words and after reading the above quote, I realized that yes my path in this world has been lead by my own inadequate feelings. My personal impressions that I often was made to feel less then good enough.
Less than a painter and more of a hobbyist.
Less of a wife and more of a caretaker.
Less of a mother and more of a disciplinarian.
I never found along my path the joy of being.

Being satisfied.
Being enough.

I recognize that my focus is more on negativity and many friends have the courage to even suggest I focus on paranoia. I, myself, don't think it is that bad; but occasionally I notice my choices are closer to downers and my ability to listen or only hear negatives is rather unamusing.

So if I read the above quote again...I ask what is enough and how do you achieve it.

In painting it is easy. You come to a place where the canvas will not take any more paint. Your brain takes over and looks and says enough. You get tired of trying to improve or redo so you simply say enough. Again this connotation of enough seems to be negative. When or where is it that enough is just that enough?

Enough in who we are at the moment.
Enough as in satisfaction of things the way they are.
Enough just simply to be happy.

Most of us probably don't listen to the inner voice that says, "You're enough because you exist." We ignore it because being enough doesn't fit the image we have of ourselves. We have spent so much time thinking of ourselves as not being enough that enough-ness seems very far away.

So, to correct my own being and feelings, I probably need to correct my own faulty self-image. I think mainly because the natural tendency of my mind is to surround itself with whatever it has embodied. so if I embody fear and doubt, I will surround myself, to one degree or another, with people and circumstances that reflect fear and doubt. If, however, I embody belief and trust in myself, I will surround myself with people and circumstances that reflect belief and trust.

I have talked about moving on, moving away from people who thought little of me, but who I thought were so willing to use me. Now, I realize these very people where only the reflection of my own negativity and at least they recognized I could get things done, though I wasn't aware of that myself. I now realize that it was my own embodiment of inadequacies that made me want to be a people pleaser without pleasing myself. These people weren't making me feel inadequate--- I was doing it to myself.

I continue to reflect back on the many times I was not able to accept my own completeness, and I notice that after each step of achievement I did not spend the time looking positively at what I had done; but I hurriedly moved on to the next task, the next duty, the next job, the next moment of trying to be adequate, and I realize after each time when it should have been enough I actually was becoming more and more empty.

I do not want to travel this world any longer missing out the things that were good.
The things that should have made me happy.
The things that should have impressed even me in all my negativity.
I want to find that state of being, that existence of being enough.

I hope that I am learning.
That I am getting closer to what I seek.
Awareness is the key to change and
I think I am beginning to realize what enough is.

I exist therefore I am.
Yeah.........that is enough