Giving Up.

esoteric: I wonder what makes people give up their dreams. I think I know, but just didn't listen.

I know that recently I was in a deep discussion with several on line friends about discouraging or encouraging artist to continue in their attempts to paint or be creative by what is said in a critique of their work. Several comments were made about people who viewed artists work and the only reply would be NICE...or GREAT START....and how these simple comments were so discouraging.

Others asked me what do you say when you are asked to critique someones work....I thought about it and immediately said "I try to find something in the work that I like and compliment them on that point." I told the group I did not like to discourage anyone in their attempt to paint. That each person has their own special story to tell whether it is with pen, pencil or brushes. That what they are expressing is as valuable to the world as any professional artist work can be. What I viewed to be good or bad was simply just one persons opinion.

Some said wouldn't it be better to discourage them early on, and suggest they find another creative outlet, or to take up some type of sport, or just put the brush down. The hairs on the nape of my neck bristled at those comments and I then asked more questions about their views on art in today's world. Why would they want to discourage someone from expressing themselves.

Once the discussion ended and we all moved on to our usual pleasantries...I realized I was still unsettled by the comments of discouraging artists.

Today I finally figured out why.....if I had listened to all the people who wanted to discourage me, I would be nothing more than a housewife, and I knew I was meant to be more.

I thought back through the years and realized at a very early age I was told "don't draw that" "why did you do that color" and my favorite in the third grade...."We will not hang your picture young lady for parents night....skies cannot be painted gold." Even when I tried to explain gold was my mother's favorite color...and not to my defense...Mother told me.."you should have just painted it blue like everyone else..why do you have to be so difficult"

As I grew and continued to paint gold skies...my next encounter was with high school art. My teacher told me "You are a jack of all trades and master of none...you will not be anything in the art world." OK..just please give me a grade I can live with and let me graduate.

In college I did not excel at my art nor did the college professors encourage me though I did watch and listen to the ones they did encourage. I wondered what is the difference? Why do I feel so alone? What is wrong with my work?

I finally switched over to welding and sculpture because I did find one teacher who thought I had some great thoughts and of course as a young person I would want to be in the field with someone who was encouraging them. Only later did I find out that if he couldn't get more students to take his class he was going to lose his tenure.

As an adult I continued on my quest to find a way to express myself and moved into painting. I took workshops and joined a painting group with a leader. The leader would ridicule me in front of the class for various things that I wasn't even doing. I finally realized I didn't need that in my life and went to speak to her quietly and tell her I wasn't going to continue. In a loud voice she told me IF YOU QUIT THIS GROUP YOU WILL NOT AMOUNT TO MUCH!!!!! YOU NEED ME......I needed her like I need hot water poured over me just for fun.

Okay, so this sounds rather silly.
But the point being...and there is a point in my ramblings.
If I had listen to these people and my peers as I worked on my paintings and art work.
I should have given up.
I should have realized a long time ago that I was suppose to find another creative outlet.
I didn't.
I kept my dream.
I worked my work and despite everything that was said...here I am and I am okay.

So to those out there who face multitude of odds or discouragement...
I say this DON'T GIVE UP.

P.S. it still hurts to hear the negative comments, but you will build your own defenses to get you through.